It’s August, which means it’s time for those cyclists caught doping during the Tour de France to make their comebacks after serving out their bans.

And this year brings the returns of two particularly heinous  drug cheats – Floyd Landis and Alexander Vinokourov. Boo! Hiss!

Interestingly both of these riders could have been back sooner. Vino was caught blood doping in 2007 and only received a one year ban. And Landis was caught “Spunk doping” at the 2006 TdF whined “I didn’t do it” like a child all the way to the CAS so his 2 year ban didn’t start until September 2007.

Anyway, with their return to the sport, they bring the dark cloud, or at the very least the purple haze, of doping back to a sport that’s trying desperately to clean up it’s image.

Fortunately, it seems cycling can rest easy and not worry that these two’s will further sully the reputation of the sport they helped to all but destroy as both Landis and Vino’s comebacks have been nothing short of ridiculous.

Utah Sinners

Landis has hit the headlines again as he tries to promote the Tour of Utah. He’s done this by having a double-header (fnar, fnar) with the Utah Jazz’s Deron Williams – a handicapped bike race and then a basketball penalty shootout thingy.

Here they are pretending to literally duke it out before metaphorically duke it out. Do you see? Do you?

Commentators are still baffled as to why cycling fails to attract ethnic minorities

Brilliant stuff really.

Landis now riders for a US based outfit called OUCH – apparently named after the noise you make ripping a testosterone patch off of your nutsack. For the cycling leg of the challenge he was to school Williams in the finer points of time-trialling – which he foolishly did a little too well as Williams beat him, albeit with a 60 second head start.

Maybe Landis agreed to take part in this challenge because he’s a benevolent soul who genuinely wanted to promote the Tour of Utah. Maybe he did it to keep up with the Armstrongs. Or maybe he did it to remind us that he’s not just the Tour’s highest profile drugs cheat, but a bit of a loon as well.

What ever the reason, it’s made him look like a fool.

Maybe I’ll Just Slip In Through the Back Door So’s Not to Be Noticed

If Landis’ return made him look like a fool – Vino’s has made him look like a complete nutcase.

Taking delusional self-belief to the next level, he wore the most amazingly awful jersey I think I’ve ever seen. In the Kazak national colours it was adorned with a photo of himself – himself! – and the slogan “Vino 4 Ever”:

Wracked with the self-loathing of a convicted drugs cheat, Vino gives himself the old up-yours

Even if he’s turned up completely naked after OD’ing on viagra he’d have come across as less cocky. Truly astonishing.

Although this custom jersey may be the clue as to why it’s taken him a year after his ban finished to get back on the bike – it’s clearly taken Vino’s mum a very long time to make.

What’s even more amazing is Vino beleif that Astana will not only want him back but actually need him back.

What I think is clear from both Landis’ and Vino’s comebacks is just what a long time 2 years is in sport and just how much cycling has moved on since they were banned. And regardless of what each of these riders might think, I don’t think the world of cycling will be a better place with them back.