It’s fair to say that in recent years French cycling has gone down this:

Or more to the point, down one of these:

The effect of this is there for all the world to see, the French haven’t won their own race at their own sport since Laurent Fignon and his pony tail did it back in 1984.

And in those 25 years, and 25 Tours, many a French riders and their carzy terrible hair have lined up on the start line, their hearts full of hope only to cross the finishing line in Paris wearing only their tear-stained jerseys – and matching shorts, of course. Oh, and after 2003, helmets. And shoes and socks, yes, shoes and socks. And gloves, don’t forget gloves. Most of them wear glasses now too, don’t they? Really, what I meant is, no Frenchman has won the Tour in 25 years and it upsets them.

France 6 – Britain 9

Well, this year things have got a little bit worse for them – they’re only able to select 6 riders for the World Championships.

But before we laugh too heartily, we should spare a little sympathy for them. Because cycling is to the French what cricket is to the English – despite each inventing our respective sports but neither of us can beat the Dutch at it.

And it’s this belief that the sport is in some way “ours” that raises the level of expectation, and with it pressure, for success and makes it so much more disappointing when the Australians inevitably win.

To be fair, the French more likely than not couldn’t give a flying fromage about success in the velodrome – it’s their singular lack of anything remotely resembling a “result” in the Classics and the Grand Tours that’s got their French knickers all in a knot.

All of which means that despite taking 3 stages at this years Tour, French riders have performed so badly in the last 12 months, that they will only be able to select 6 riders for the World Championships. Frances disappointment at this abject failure was surely only compounded when they discovered that the British qualified for the full 9 riders.

Which leaves me feeling a little sorry for, the French National Team Manager, Laurent Jalabert. Jalabert has many claims to fame:

• He’s the subject of the most famous Tour de France photos ever taken,
• He’s the  second best French rider to never win the Tour (after Pou Pou)
• He’s the third most famous person with a name that sounds like JaJa (after Zsa Zsa Gabor and Jar Jar Binks)

To which he can now “Managing the biggest bunch of sadsacks that France has produced in many a year”. Despite the gloom he seems in philosophical mood, telling French sports daily L’Equipe:

“It’s very disturbing,” Jalabert told French sports dailyL’Equipe. “This does not mean that we are already beaten, but it says a lot about the true position of France in international cycling. I hope this will at least provoke some thought.”

We can only hope that as disturbed as he is, during his period of thought, Jalabert is still sane enough to not listen to Bernard Hinault. As in his pre-Tour interview, you know the one that made Lance Armstrong type the word “Wanker”, Hinault’s take on the situation in French cycling was as follows:

“There are champions who become like civil servants when they turn pro. You have to put a knife to their throats to get any results,” Hinault said. “The French earn too much money and don’t make enough effort.”

Presumably Hinault is speaking from experience here, as aparrently during the height of his career, The Badger wasregularly threatened with being hit over the head by a spade then dumping by the side of the road to make it look like a car had hit him. And remember, these were the pre-2003 days, before compulsory helmet wearing in Pro races. A much more severe threat.

Even so, threatening to kill your riders if they don’t perform seems a little extreme to say the least. Here in the UK we like to leave that job to other road users. But then, it doesn’t seem to have done our riders any harm, so maybe Hinault does have a point.